The Five Love Languages

Does your partner feel loved?  If you answered yes, let me ask the follow-up to that question:  what do you do in order to make your partner feel loved?  Is this the kind of thing that he / she wants you to do for him / her? 

One of the many things that I truly appreciate in my relationship with M is that he tries to really know me, do things that really please me, and just love me the way I want to be loved.  Our Monday night dates would always be short and sweet, but he finds creative ways to get to know me better and deeper.  There are times when he asks me straightforwardly so he can find out more info; at other times, he just observes and concludes, then discusses with me what he thought about, and whether it is true or not. I am really thankful to God for giving me someone who tries his best to meet my emotional needs in a way that does not overshadow how God provides for everything that I could possibly ask for.    

I'm no relationship guru, but one of the best things I've learned is this: whatever type of relationship we are in (as romantic couples, as parent-child, as brother-sister, etc.), if we want the other person to feel loved, we need to find out what is his / her love language, and "speak" it.  Be consistent with it.  Be intentional about it.  Love must be mutual in order for a relationship to be successful, and how can we make it succeed if the other party does not feel loved in spite of all the efforts we've been doing?

Loving someone is both a task and a decision; there are lots of hard work to do, and a good and lasting relationship requires the deliberate effort of the people involved in it.  If we give 110% in our careers, shouldn't we do the same to our love lives and relationships?  Love isn't just a matter of expressing it any way you want to; it has to be done in a way that clearly and consistently communicates your love, dedication, affection and fondness for the other.  It is a language that you have to speak, and one that the other person must fully understand.  For instance, what good is it to keep buying her flowers, when all she wants is for you to give her your full attention whenever she talks?   

I've heard countless stories of people breaking up, or getting in a violent fight or too many arguments (things that can potentially destroy any relationship), which could have been avoided if only people learn this important principle:  know your loved one well enough to do what he / she wants you to, and therefore, make emotional deposits into his / her love bank as often as you could.  We all experience days when it feels as if the love bank has just gone empty with too many withdrawals (ie, arguments, misunderstandings, etc.), and speaking the kind of love language that your partner has is one of the best things a person in a relationship can do to further nurture and nourish your love. Some people feel most loved when you give them quality time.  Others need to be affirmed by receiving gifts from people who matter to them.  Some people are touchy touchy type, so physical contact matters a lot to them.  Others need to hear your words of assurance and affection every so often.  And finally, there are those who feel most loved when the people who matter most to them help them carry out tasks.  People may sometimes speak not only one, but as many as three love languages.  Whatever their love language is, the bottomline is this:  if you want a successful relationship --- one that is continually growing and maturing --- then make your loved one really feel LOVED.  And one of the best ways to do that is to find out his / her specific love language(s).  Curious?  Click here to find out what is your love language.  You can also try more specific tests (ie, for singles, wives, husbands, children, etc) from this site.

Mr M gave me this huggable dog we named Choco last summer.  No reason at all.  ;-)  He just wants to give me a dog to hug as I sleep. To date, I think I have about 5 dogs and a big white teddy bear --- all coming from him.

Pardon the cheese, but he also grabbed this one the moment we stepped in Papemelroti.   We both are fond of dogs, though ironically, neither of us owns one.  Not even a puppy.  He said someday we will.  In the meantime, this brown pooch is him, and the one white is me.  ;-)

I took the 5 love languages test, and it revealed what I had known all along:  my love languages are receiving gifts and quality time.  Good thing I have a beloved who pampers me with small and big surprises every now and then  ;-)

I am just so glad that even when I was still single, my cell group leader from church taught us the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  That best-selling book went on to sell millions of copies, and has been rewritten to fit different kinds of reader.  So now there's 5 Love Languages for Teenagers, for Singles, for Married People, for Men, for Children, and most recently, an edition that lets you discover your apology language.  About two years ago I bought myself the original one, The 5 Love Languages paperback edition for only Php 400.  That book has been read by a couple of friends and officemates who responded positively when I told them about it. Many of the principles from that book still ring true today.  I am so glad Mr. Chapman expanded it such that we now have The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, God Speaks Your Love Language, The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted, The Family You’ve Always Wanted, How to Really Love Your Adult Child, and a couple of other relationship-related books which I would want to have in my personal collection.

If you don't know your or your partner's love language, or if you want to further improve your relationship with anybody (not just your fiance), I have four practical suggestions:
1.)  Take the love language test.  It's really very simple.  Click here.  No cheating please.  Let your partner also take it separately.  Then discuss the results.  Affirm and confirm. 
2.)  Immediately apply what you have learned about yourself and your partner from the test.  Please be deliberate and intentional as possible.  And the best time to do it is NOW.
3.)  Check out your local bookstore.  Start with National Bookstore or OMF Literature, Inc.  Or visit the Christian bookstores nearest your place.  Or go online via Amazon or other reliable online sellers.  Buy yourself a copy of Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages in the edition of your preference (Original edition, Edition for Teenagers, for Singles, for Men, etc.)
4.)  Are you a frequent blog reader?  Then add The Five Love Languages Blog to your blogroll.  

All images of the books were taken from the Five Love Languages Official Website.  The rest have been taken by me.

Double delights: a pre-wedding seminar and a prenup pictorial!

Marriage is supposed to be for keeps.  It's a lifetime commitment for better or for worse.  So how do you make it last and weather all sorts of trials and problems?

Honestly, I do not know the answers.  Of course, we need to put God in the center of our relationship, and to follow Biblical principles for marriage and parenting.  But the truth is, I know I'll never know what to do until I myself am there in that situation.  So it's best to be prepared beforehand, even at least in theory, to avert all sorts of troubles that may be avoided.

M and I both agreed that we need a lot of marriage counseling, as there are problems and concerns which might find their way into our marriage and cause friction between the two of us.  Thankfully, we have a lot of support from our family and friends, and even churchmates, who pray for us always and are ever-ready to give Biblical advice.  I really thank God that He has given me a man with whose faith I share, and with whose principles I agree.  I am also grateful to God for giving me so many ideas even before I got into a relationship with M!  Yes, I attended all the parenting seminars of my church.  Why, even the sermon series these days are about parenting and taking charge of your family / group! 

When I brought up the topic of a pre-wedding seminar to M, he was naturally for it.  Thank God!  So last Wednesday, I finally had free time in the afternoon so I went to BDO at SM Megamall  and paid the downpayment for what is going to be one of the best decisions M and I have made for our wedding preparations. You see, we both signed up for Before I Do pre-wedding workshop as we know that marriage goes beyond feelings and emotions.  It's a lifetime commitment before God, our families and friends, and we have to be determined to keep this marriage at all costs.

Before I Do is a pre-wedding workshop the aim of which is to educate couples about the many facets of marriage based on sound biblical principles. I didn't know that it was conceived by my churchmate and one of my favorite photographers, John Mateos Ong and huis wife Monique.  The workshop includes topics like Sex & Marriage, Financial Responsibility, Communication, the Five Love Languages, and Biblical Roles of Husband and Wife.  The workshop is interactive because after each topic, participants break up into small groups for either an activity or sharing of experience and shared reflections. Check out what it is all about from this website.

For only one thousand and five hundred pesos (PHP 1,500), M and I can participate in this seminar-workshop on November 5 and take home freebies too.  Wow!  I was literally running to BDO Megamall to hand over my payment.  Only twenty-five (25) couples may be accomodated every workshop, so I was really relieved when we were still taken in.   

And here's the part I like the most:  we get to have free prenuptial photo shoot anytime between November 2011 and April 2012 (except holidays and week ends).  Praise God indeed!  I couldn't stop saying wow while reading their confirmation email.  A free prenup from Before I Do means that I now have two prenups!  Remember, I won a prenup pictorial a few months ago?

So now I have a hundred and one more reasons to slim down and stay fit....I better look good in those two prenups hehehe ;-)

I you and your H2B are serious about preserving your upcoming marriage, do check out Before I Do.  It runs only every April and November.  Hurry, reserve your slot before it's too late!

Piece of Cake?

Simple, timeless and elegant cakes by Elizabeth Anne Designs

What will your wedding cake look like?  Do you have a design in mind, or are you giving the bakers free reign?  Is it going to be a three-tiered delight, or a five-layered treat?  Will it be a carrot cake, plain chiffon, caramel, or any other specific flavor?  Will it be the cake you'll be availing from your caterer (usually included in the package), or are you having it customized from a different supplier?

Way back when I still didn't have a boyfriend, I already knew what I want my cake to look like.  It'll look like the picture from Elizabeth Anne Designs which I posted on top.  Simple, fuss-free, minimalist.  But then since joining Weddings at Work, my tastes have evolved.  Choices for cakes have become so wide range that every now and then I shift from the minimalist design to the uber grand, and back.  And to think it's just a cake!  We're not even talking yet of how much should be spent on a supposedly simple concoction formed out of mixing butter, eggs, sugar and milk.  

If only I have enough moolah to spend, I have no doubt as to who will bake my cake the day I marry Mr. M.  It's Joy San Gabriel, bar none.  Just look how yummy and visually appealing her cakes are:

 I love how this cake captures what husbands ought to do hehehehe  :-)  Panalo, di ba?  ;-)

It's pink, and I like it.  Cake + cupcakes + cute cake toppers.  I just love how elegantly Joy combined all three without making them look like some kiddie's birthday cake

I want one!

Wow, look at all those yummy sweet treats from Shauna Younge Dessert Tables

 Talk about color coordination and presentation

Now here's the catch.  The cheapest wedding cake I found from the most reliable sources in the wedding industry costs Php 5,000.  Whaaaatt?????? It sounds so scandalous to me!

With that price tag, I don't know about you, but cakes are and will definitely NOT be on my list of priorities for my wedding.

When M and I started listing down the wedding items which we could scrimp on to save more money for our after-wedding life, one of the things that came to my mind was the cake after I found out that it costs almost the same as one whole lechon already.  After all, it's just the two of us who will slice and enjoy it for ceremonial purposes.  It's just a less than 3-minute feature in our wedding and before I could even swallow a spoonful of it, we're onto the next part of the festivities.  Budget brides like me just can't afford to spend so much on a piece of item that will probably end up being given away to guests or being brought home by my relatives right after M and I eat a mere spoonful of it.  I just can't accept the fact that I will be paying Php 5,000 for a cake with only a single layer edible  (the other two tiers are just made of styrofoam).

So what are my options?

I'd probably buy a couple of cakes in various flavors and serve them buffet style:

 For those with sweet tooth, check this out!  Cake Buffet from Marlene's Fans Club

 I'm having a pink-themed wedding with hints of green, and thanks to this picture of a cake buffet by Project Wedding, I'm getting some ideas on how to execute my big day.  Perfect.  :-)

 The more, the merrier.  That seems to be the dictum of whoever prepared this delectable spread.  Photo taken from the Flick account of ♥ he@rt ♥

 

 Cakes with a Japanese twist.  Photo by Bryan Lyt

 We're having a Japanese-themed wedding, so maybe I can take a cue from this picture, eh?

Now when all else fails, I can rely on one of my favorite local brands, Red Ribbon cakes, for my wedding.  Think of how many cakes I can buy with just Php 2,000 ---- and they're all edible, so our guests can enjoy these sweet treats, as opposed to shelling out Php 5,000 for a three-tiered cake with only one layer edible.  
 

Source:  article.wn.com

Ah, and let's not forget another favorite:  Estrel's caramel cakes.   Wow, composing this blog alone makes me want to pick up the phone to place an order....

M always gives me roses.  Maybe I can incorporate that detail in the cake for our wedding like what this picture shows....

A pot of roses for a cake.  Brilliant idea from Estrel's.

See how very affordable Estrel's cakes are based on their price list:

Writing this post got me all thinking.  What do I really want for a wedding cake?  Apparently, there's too many options to explore.

If only deciding about this matter is a piece of cake  ;-)

Food Trip Monday

Tomorrow, I'll be turning another year older.  But since Mr. M works on a night shift and can't see me on Thursday, we opted instead to celebrate my "coming of-age" (hahaha!) last Monday at Sbarro.

We're both fans of pizza and pasta, and being the foodies that we are, we easily consumed all that we had ordered that day.

Thank you, Baby.  Sa uulitin!  :-)

Meet my Flower Girl # 1

M and I are actually contemplating on getting six seven flower girls.  Yes, you read it right.  Six Seven flower girls for our wedding day.  I hope my aisle doesn't turn out to be one whole playground for little girls running around in their pink dresses!  Hahaha  :-)

Anyway, why seven?  Here's the line-up:

Flower girl # 1 - my one and only niece - Monique
Flower girl # 2 - M's first niece - Cayley
Flower girl # 3 - M's second niece - Marga, younger sister of Cayley
Flower girl # 4 - Zhegia, daughter of M's good friend who is based in Scotland
Flower girl # 5 and 6 - my god daughters Maxine and Maurice
Flower girl # 7 - my niece Ricah from my cousin Car

We have so many kids in our immediate and extended families, and we'd like to get them to play roles in our wedding as they mean much to us.

Today, I want to begin posting something about my little girls, and I'll start off with my brother's unica hija, Ella Monique.  

Monique is the youngest among the two children of my older brother Eric.  She's the last, as my SIL already had herself ligated for health reasons.  Born on April 9, 2007, she's the carbon copy of her dad.  And how she has captured everybody's hearts!  I'll let the pictures do the expounding....

 This early, she knows already how to work it....
See? I think she's doing a ballet pose here.

Hamming it up....
Hindi naman siya ready, di ba?

A pose before going off to school...
O di ba kuntodo smile?

O di ba?  Di naman naka-pose ang lola nyo kahit naglalaro sila ng kuya nya!

Cutie cute cute

A pose with her Kuya Enrique before her ballet recital....

Monogram Happiness!

Yehey, our monograms have just been emailed!  うれしい!!!!

Early this year, Sis Cathy of W@W offered to do the monograms of selected couples for free.  It's her way of giving back to Weddings at Work, the egroup to which I belong, which has helped her a lot in planning her own dream wedding.  So, yes, I immediately sent her an email, and thankfully, I made it to her list of people for whom she will design monograms.

Last Sunday, Sis Cathy emailed to say that she has finally finished all monograms.  She then emailed me all the copies.  Wow!  I'm soooo thankful, and amazed at her talent.

Enjoy.  Which one do you think suits our pink/pewter gray Japanese-themed wedding?

Happiness!

We won a prenup! うれしい！！！！！！

I couldn't believe it when I saw my inbox.  We won a free prenuptial pictorial, courtesy of Jane's (of Weddings at Work) friend, Ross, who is into photography.  Unbelievable, but so true!

It was a long day at work and I had just gotten home when I decided to check my email.  The topic of a free prenuptial photoshoot was the current buzzword in the W@W community, and bride-to-be's were asking if there would be a free prenup anytime soon.  Jane graciously emailed the group to say that her friend is very much willing to shoot 3 lucky couples for free, provided that they email the concept first and get his approval.

Without reservations, I immediately emailed that I am going to have a Japanese-inspired prenup, complete with yukatta and all.  Here's what I exactly wrote on my email:

Hi Sis Jane,

I hope ma-consider pa kami ni h2b for freenup.  Anyway, here's my try:
Prenup Theme:  Japanese
Location:  UP Bonsai Garden, or anywhere as long as it's garden.  Pwede rin siguro sa isang bookstore like Fully Booked, or sa library na lang ng isang university
Date: Kung pwede sana Sunday or Monday, any time.

H2B and I are bound by one thing in common:  Japanese language, kasi teacher ako ng Japanese, at siya naman nag-aral ng language din na yun.

Pls keep us updated.  Maraming salamat!

And the rest was history.  :-) 

A few months ago, I blogged about having a Japanese-themed wedding.  It's now my turn to translate all things Japanese for my up and coming prenup.  And I couldn't be more thankful for having such a talented, accomodating and wonderful photographer in Ross.  Check out his sample works here and here.

たのしみ！！！

Can't wait to do something similar yet also quite different from the ones already done by W@W 2010 brides...

Marc and Rai @ UP Bonsai Garden, shot by Val Bunao with costumes from the Sinag Arts Foundation (Rental Fee: Php1,500/set)

Source:  here

 

 Source:  here

 

Source:  here

Jason and Rich @ The Silangan Gardens, Antipolo, shot by one of my favorite photographers, Toto Villaruel

 Source:  here

 

 Source:  here

 

Source:  here

Monogram Love

Monogram, anyone?

I surely want some for my own big day.  The thing is, I haven't really sat down with the future hubby-to-be on what theme we'd like to adopt for our own wedding day.  He wants to keep everything as fuss-free and as uncomplicated as possible; I like to thrown in some kikay and girly stuff to add a little omph to the simple wedding we have in mind.  You know how guys could be at times.  They hate it when they are presented with more than three options, and pressured to choose.  Hahaha  :-)  So I think the choice of what specific monogram to use is a matter that will be left up to me.  We have so far agreed on a pink cherry blossom theme, but then I think I'd love modern Filipiniana too....and a dozen other monogram inspirations I see over the internet.  Hay!  If only zeroing in on a theme and hence, a monogram, is just a whiff of a brush!    

Anyway, here are samples of what caught my eye recently:

Mike and Jen made by Joy Tifles, a former member of W@W

Pictures downloaded from Mike and Jen's wedsite

Chips and Fozzy from Fozzy's blog

monogram of Gladys and Eric from Mimi and Karl's blog entry

More monogram inspirations and resources from:

• PYXLYF by Cathy, another former member of W@W
• HTML Color Names
• Marry Monograms
• Wedding Monogram Tutorials by Brianna Nichole
• Monogram Collection by True Love Logos

Save the Date!

Once in a while, I stumble upon wedsites and websites that make wedding planning so much easier.  So one afternoon, I explored Wedding Paper Divas, browsed through their collection of save the date cards, and tried to personalize what I liked from the readily available templates.

Here's a sampler of what had me occupied that afternoon:

*giddy and excited*